Hello Lights of the world,
Yes, I know, I've been away for a while. My sincere apologies. When family calls, I have to answer. I had the final burial rites for my grandma who died in November, last year. I want to use this as an opportunity to say thank you everyone who showed up and supported me and my family in one way or the other. Including my amazingly large family, both home and abroad. I really appreciate you all. So without wasting time, I'll get right into what I have for you all today. First off, I'm not even sure there's a word like "Intentionality", but I'm gonna use it like that. We're in a generation and time where everyone's particular about being "Intentional" in everything. I think it's because, there's a lot of deceit and fakeness everywhere and deep down we are all looking for genuine and sincere actions from the people around us. The rate at which there's so much fakeness around leaves us with a lot of bottled up or locked up emotions that when blurted out, would make us seem like terrible people. It's hard to find people who are sincere in their actions and lifestyles around us that would actually help us be the better versions of ourselves.
Going to boarding school was the first opportunity I had to make long term friends. It was the first time ever that I spent more than 2 years in a school. Sadly, even after spending four years in one school, because I was so used to letting go of friends, I found it hard to keep in touch with people I claimed to have been friends with for four years. At some point my naïve self thought there was something wrong with me because I carried on to University without caring what was going on in the lives of others. I just assumed, "oh we've all moved on with our lives, you know, nobody really cares". I remember complaining to my Mum at the end of my first year of Uni. I felt it was serious issue to be loosing touch with people I called my friends. My Mum mentioned something that stuck with me ever since. She said it wasn't my fault and that when I found the right friends they'd stick no matter what. She said the reason why those friends didn't last was because there wasn't any common ground. Whatever it was that brought us together is over. True and true, it played out as she said. But not until I realised something I shared a bit of in my previous blogpost.
Intentionality. Being Intentional about the kind of friends I wanted around me. My struggle to learn how to keep friends made me fight for the wrong friendships. The people I was supposed to keep, I pushed away without realising it. This in turn painted me in the wrong light. I was that preachers kid who knew things that you would least expect a pastors child to know. At least I was trying to be that kind of person, just so that certain people would think I was worthy of being their friend.
Thank God for the Hoy Spirit. He's just wonderful. I don't know how and when I finally woke up from that delusion, but I did. The Holy Spirit made me realise my mistake and I stopped trying so hard to keep friendships that weren't doing me any good. I started working on the kind of friend I wanted to be to others. I put my energy into being the kind of person I'd want to be friends with. This helped because I had to filter the "friends" I had. I could decipher who and who I could have certain conversations with. I was able to identify the gatherings and friends that brought my peace and didn't make feel like I was competing to be on the same level or attain some kind of status. Gatherings where I was worried about whether I was making the right impression that would make them want to keep me as a friend. With time, I began to attract people of like minds and those that weren't adding any value to me, I didn't even have to cut them off, God did the cutting off in his own way.
Like I always say, as long as my lifestyle is approved by God, other peoples perception, disapproval or validation is not needed. One way I was able to decipher the friends I needed to keep, was that their views and opinions were in line with God's views and opinions. This became my gage for the people I called friends. I didn't just want friends, I wanted friends that helped me spiritually, mentally, socially, academically and financially.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV
I guess in summary, what I'm driving at is that, the friends you keep are people whom you both help each other. Intentionally pick your friends. Intentionally decide to feed your relationships. Your standard for friends and relationships should be God. God should be your checklist for what qualifies you as friend to someone and what qualifies that person you've chosen, as a friend.
Remember,
You are LIGHT
You must SHINE
Cheers
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